Get Your Funny On

*1. Money can’t buy happiness but…
**somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle…

2. Forgive your enemy, but
**remember the motherf&¥$er’s name.

3. Help a man when he is in trouble & he will remember you
when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because
**it’s illegal to shoot them.

Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defence Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defence Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn’t stop him.

Defence Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defence Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defence Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!

Defence Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me now!”

Defence Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, “April Fool!” And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard.

If you have a funny you would like to see here either post it as a comment or mail it to me on stuffdidoodles@gmail.com

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Want to read more funnies?click here to read more…

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Posted on June 29, 2012, in Funnies and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Wahahahahahahahaha

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