Kiddie Bytes

The school holidays are now over and early wake ups are once again in full swing.

Here are a few “Kiddie Bytes” from the last 4 weeks.

It seems 12 year old insights are far more factual and not as much “fun” as 8 year old ones.

image from google images

image from google images

I send my son to tidy his room. A few minutes later I go to check on him and there’s a hand written sign on the door:


Chatting to a friend after school.

Friend: “so fairy you have lots of animals at home. You have cats and a dog, a gorilla, a chimpanzee, and then its your mom and you.”

Fairy: “My dad’s a monkey, and so is my brother.”

Friend: “I think we should change your dad to a giraffe because he’s so tall, and your mom’s a bee because she’s always so busy.”

Fairy: “No, My mom’s a cheetah.”

Friend and I in unison: “Why, a cheetah?”

Fairy: “Because mom always brings the food.”


One night we had some new kitchen appliances delivered. One of which came in a large box.

You know the visa ads where the little kid classically plays with the box?

Well here’s my classic moment.

Getting into my bed for her Saturday morning cuddle:

Fairy: “You wore your scarf last night mom, were you cold?”

Me: “Yes, I couldn’t fall asleep because I was so cold.”

Fairy: ” I slept in my box.”

Me: “On the floor?”

Fairy: “No on my bed.”

Me: “like the littlest hobo. Were you warm?”

Fairy: ” Yes, hobo’s keep warm in their boxes.”

Amazing what they think of doing once you’ve said goodnight.


I had THE question from my daughter.
Can’t remember how my sons came about. To be honest I think I deflected to dad. Haha.

My son had just walked in the room when Fairy asked the question and he replied with: “didn’t you know?
We learned in school that the rooster bites the chicken on the back of her neck and then inserts his sperm.”

Fairy was horrified.: “Dad bites mom on the neck?”

How I recovered from this lot I can’t remember fully but I do remember mentioning love helping a very tiny fairy on route to my tummy.



Fairy gets up from laying on her arm and watching TV.

Fairy: “Can you take my hand out of numb?”

Me: *huh?*

Fairy: “Yes, please, mom, take my hand out of numb. It gets sore when it gets pins and needles.”

Me: *I rub her hand, and up and down her arm.* “Is that better now?”

Fairy: “Wow, mom how did you do that? You should have been a doctor, you’re so clever.”

A moments silence… …

Fairy: “Mom? You know where I bumped my head, Its still sore.”

Me: “My baby, its just a bruise, give it a few days and it’ll be all gone.”

Fairy: ” No Mom! I brain damaged my head!” *with a look on her face which said quite clearly, that mom had lost every ounce of “intelligent doctor” she had in her when she cured the numb.*

and I’ll love and leave you all today with this…


While making soup…

Fairy: “Mom do you know that we shake our booty at modern dancing?”

Me: Yes.

Fairy: “Do you know why I can shake my bum?”

Me: “No, why?”

Fairy: “Because I fall on it all the time and that makes the skin loose.”


What do your kids say that makes you laugh? Share it with me in the comments – if it gets me laughing I may use it in one of my posts. 🙂

Click here to read more of Di’s Articles


About Di

Di believes that the most important and most fulfilling “job” she has is being a mom of two. She is an author and animal communicator. Her greatest passion is animals and their welfare. She enjoys writing about animals and topics to help others with their spiritual growth.

Posted on July 16, 2012, in Di's Articles, Family, Funnies, Kids, Parenting and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Now I know my my butt wiggles!
    Thanks Fairy! 🙂

  1. Pingback: Peanut Butter Sandwiches « Di Doodles About Stuff

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