The school holidays are now over and early wake ups are once again in full swing.
Here are a few “Kiddie Bytes” from the last 4 weeks.
It seems 12 year old insights are far more factual and not as much “fun” as 8 year old ones.
I send my son to tidy his room. A few minutes later I go to check on him and there’s a hand written sign on the door:
WORK IN PROGRESS
Chatting to a friend after school.
Friend: “so fairy you have lots of animals at home. You have cats and a dog, a gorilla, a chimpanzee, and then its your mom and you.”
Fairy: “My dad’s a monkey, and so is my brother.”
Friend: “I think we should change your dad to a giraffe because he’s so tall, and your mom’s a bee because she’s always so busy.”
Fairy: “No, My mom’s a cheetah.”
Friend and I in unison: “Why, a cheetah?”
Fairy: “Because mom always brings the food.”
One night we had some new kitchen appliances delivered. One of which came in a large box.
You know the visa ads where the little kid classically plays with the box?
Well here’s my classic moment.
Getting into my bed for her Saturday morning cuddle:
Fairy: “You wore your scarf last night mom, were you cold?”
Me: “Yes, I couldn’t fall asleep because I was so cold.”
Fairy: ” I slept in my box.”
Me: “On the floor?”
Fairy: “No on my bed.”
Me: “like the littlest hobo. Were you warm?”
Fairy: ” Yes, hobo’s keep warm in their boxes.”
Amazing what they think of doing once you’ve said goodnight.
I had THE question from my daughter.
Can’t remember how my sons came about. To be honest I think I deflected to dad. Haha.
My son had just walked in the room when Fairy asked the question and he replied with: “didn’t you know?
We learned in school that the rooster bites the chicken on the back of her neck and then inserts his sperm.”
Fairy was horrified.: “Dad bites mom on the neck?”
How I recovered from this lot I can’t remember fully but I do remember mentioning love helping a very tiny fairy on route to my tummy.
Fairy gets up from laying on her arm and watching TV.
Fairy: “Can you take my hand out of numb?”
Fairy: “Yes, please, mom, take my hand out of numb. It gets sore when it gets pins and needles.”
Me: *I rub her hand, and up and down her arm.* “Is that better now?”
Fairy: “Wow, mom how did you do that? You should have been a doctor, you’re so clever.”
A moments silence… …
Fairy: “Mom? You know where I bumped my head, Its still sore.”
Me: “My baby, its just a bruise, give it a few days and it’ll be all gone.”
Fairy: ” No Mom! I brain damaged my head!” *with a look on her face which said quite clearly, that mom had lost every ounce of “intelligent doctor” she had in her when she cured the numb.*
and I’ll love and leave you all today with this…
While making soup…
Fairy: “Mom do you know that we shake our booty at modern dancing?”
Fairy: “Do you know why I can shake my bum?”
Me: “No, why?”
Fairy: “Because I fall on it all the time and that makes the skin loose.”
What do your kids say that makes you laugh? Share it with me in the comments – if it gets me laughing I may use it in one of my posts. 🙂