Bullying Update

I am processing my thoughts over a hectic afternoon, and an evening of fireballs shooting from my nose and ears. This dragon is not a happy chappy.

I have been trying to combat bullying towards my son since he arrived in the 4th grade at his current school. He is a sensitive and an intelligent child. I have brought my children up in a way that they have a background knowledge of moral ethics. You can take them anywhere and they and I will be complimented on their good behaviour. As a mom who decided to devote her time to her kids, I exude with pride when my children are complimented.

I am the kind of person who does not take abuse lightly.

So when my child is a victim I don’t just get angry…

I get even.

image from google images

image from google images

The facts are clear that my boy has been victimised continuously by specific children.

In the last school term, I was an eye witness to the victimisation.

My boy was warming up for his cross country athletics event with his friend. The perpetrator ran from clear on the other side of the field and kicked my son in “his private area”. He then ran to the opposite side of the field again.
I was furious.
I immediately looked for a teacher and I felt lucky to find my son’s teacher, who is also the head of department for the grade.

He assured me that he would take action. It was the last day of the school term and as far as I know the perpetrator only received a break detention for his misdemeanour. Personally for a child who has been victimising another child continuously, I think that the punishment was mild!

After a really enjoyable but busy holiday, watching my sons self esteem preen and rise, the new school term began again.

In the first week back to school one of the bullies, rammed my sons head into the wall as he was leaving the library. My son is a bookworm, he reads a lot. This year I have noticed that he has been exchanging his books more often.
A worrying sign, as I know he exchanges his books at break times due to the bullies seeking him out at break. You see the devious little creatures know full well that there aren’t enough teachers on duty at break and that they can get away with murder.

In my letter to the principal today I asked what would be done if my son had received a concussion last week. That is a large area of concern – the consequences.

What really got my fumes rising all happened yesterday.

I arrived to fetch my son at school after an athletics practice, but he was late to come out of school.
When he finally did arrive at the car he told me that the perpetrator had broken his bag while he was at athletics and hidden it behind the detention room. Once he had found his bag and was walking out the gate, the perpetrator kicked his bag to break it further.
I flipped! By then I was spitting fire! I found the child who was pointed out to me by various other children, and I made it abundantly clear that he stay away from my child. I said that if he so much as breathed in my sons direction there would be consequences for his actions!

I had – had enough!

I left a note on the headmasters desk to call me and I went straight to the police station and spoke to an officer on duty. Another lady officer also took note of the conversation, took my number and will be conveying the details of our conversation to the unit dealing with schools in the area.

I am a no nonsense mom, I am a no nonsense person, and if someone doesn’t like it – its tough!
I wrote a letter to the principal with all the details I could possibly add, including previous letters mentioning the same issues, and emailed it off to him at 6am this morning.

My letter contained the following information, just to make sure they understood very well that I meant business.

“A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself.”

This definition includes three important components:

1. Bullying is aggressive behaviour that involves unwanted, negative actions.
2. Bullying involves a pattern of behaviour repeated over time.
3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.

Bullying is peer abuse that should not be tolerated under any circumstances.

There are nine forms of bullying.
I have placed an asterisk at the points being used against My Boy.

*1. Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names
*2. Bullying through social exclusion or isolation
*3. Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting
*4. Bullying through lies and false rumors
*5. Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully
*6. Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully
7. Racial bullying
8. Sexual bullying

Bullying is not teasing:

It might be hard to tell the difference between playful teasing and bullying. Teasing usually involves two or more friends who act together in a way that seems fun to all the people involved. Often they tease each other equally, but it never involves physical or emotional abuse

Information about bullying suggests that there are three interrelated reasons why students bully.

1. Students who bully have strong needs for power and (negative) dominance.
2. Students who bully find satisfaction in causing injury and suffering to other students.
3. Students who bully are often rewarded in some way for their behaviour with material or psychological rewards.

Students who are being bullied often exhibit some warning signs. These students may: (I have once again placed an asterisk at points pertaining to My Boy’s behaviour which I have noted repeatedly.)

*Have torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings

*Have unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches from fighting

*Have few, if any, friends with whom he or she spends time

*Seem afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organised activities (such as clubs or sports) with peers

Take a long “illogical” route when walking to or from school

*Lose interest in doing school work, or suddenly begin to do poorly in school

*Appear sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he or she comes home

*Complain frequently of headaches, stomach aches, or other physical problems

*Have frequent bad dreams, or trouble sleeping

*Experience a loss of appetite

*Appear anxious and suffer from low self-esteem

Students Who are Bullied

Students deserve to feel safe at school. But when they experience bullying, these types of effects can last long into their future:

*Depression

*Low self-esteem

*Health problems

*Poor grades

*Suicidal thoughts

By 7am I had a call back and a meeting at the school at 7:50am.

I took my no nonsense attitude along for the ride and put my foot down yet again. I made it clear that I would go as far as I had to – to get my child help away from the bullies and the victimisation.

I am a force to be reckoned with, especially when it comes to my children.

The out come thus far is that my boy will be monitored more. Each of the perpetrators, two of which are also teasing and victimising my sons friend, about his weight and hair colour, will be called in and dealt with today. There were five names in total brought up by the principal, so in my mind they are aware of the issues that have been re occurring.

I honestly hope that this is the solution and that they will take action against the bullies as promised.

According to the principal, because of the state of our country and the rising accounts and consequences of bullying it is taken as a more serious offence than theft in schools. With this in mind I reiterate – I hope that now they will take heed to my sons pleas, my letters and meetings and stop the constant and unacceptable victimisation.

Read my previous article on bullying – which contains links to describe the signs of bullying as well as help for parents and teachers on how to help a victim cope.

Click here to read more of Di’s Articles

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About Di

Di believes that the most important and most fulfilling “job” she has is being a mom of two. She is an animal communicator. Her greatest passion is animals and their welfare. She enjoys writing about animals and topics to help others with their spiritual growth.

Posted on July 26, 2012, in Abuse, Bullying, Di's Articles, Kids, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. They need a bloody good hiding! I do not agree with no corp punishment in schools, it has allowed children to behave in any which way they please with no consequences in my opinion. When i was at school , we feared the headmaster and teachers should we misbehave, Today children have no respect and fear no one! I am not saying fear is the best way to dicipline, but I am saying that in some instances it most certainly is and seems more and more so that it is needed in the schools of today!

  2. Brilliant Di. I admire you for tackling it head on and making the school more aware of what is happening. I think all bullies are insecure cowards who are jealous of other more successful people and yet, if the person being bullied retaliates, they are usually the ones who get punished. You go girl!

  3. You go Di, had me fuming at your fist sentence!! Bloody brats!!! And that’s putting it nicely….

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