Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee

– You answer the door before people knock.

– You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

– You lick your coffee pot clean.

image from google images

image from google images

– You’re the employee of the month at the local coffee house and you don’t even work there.

– Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

– You chew on other people’s fingernails.

– Your T-shirt says, “Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.”

– You can type sixty words per minute … with your feet.

– You can jump-start your car without cables.

– You don’t need a hammer to pound nails.

– You don’t sweat, you percolate.

– You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.

– You’ve worn out the handle on your favourite mug.

– You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

image from google images

image from google images

– You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.

– You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

– Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.

– You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

– People get dizzy just watching you.

– You’ve worn the finish off your coffee table.

– Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.

– Instant coffee takes too long.

– When someone says. “How are you?”, you say, “Good to the last drop.”

– You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

– Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

– You’re offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.

– You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

– You can thread a sewing machine, while it’s running.

– You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

– You short out motion detectors.

– You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.

– Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

– You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.

– You don’t tan, you roast.

– You can’t even remember your second cup.

– You help your dog chase its tail.

If you have a great funny you would like to see here on a Friday… Mail it to me on stuffdidoodles@gmail.com or post it in the comments. If you make me laugh, I’ll post your joke 🙂

Want to read more funnies?click here to read more…

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About Di

Di believes that the most important and most fulfilling “job” she has is being a mom of two. She is an animal communicator. Her greatest passion is animals and their welfare. She enjoys writing about animals and topics to help others with their spiritual growth.

Posted on July 27, 2012, in Funnies and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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