A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
“Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was that?” asked his wife..
“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“No, I did not. It’s 3 in the morning and it’s bloody pouring rain out there!”
“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too, you know.”
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband.
“Over here on the swing,” replied the drunk.
Guy in a hurry used the ladies toilet in a posh hotel.
He sat down and noticed 4 buttons – WW, WA, PP & ATR.
Curious, he pressed WW and his butt was gently sprayed with Warm Water , then WA and a blast of Warm Air dried him up.
PP and a Powder Puff 2make him smell fresh .
Feeling pampered, he pressed ATR.
He later woke up in the hospital, a nurse smiled and said, ATR means Automatic Tampon Remover. Your balls are in that jar over there.
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