Plans you’ll need when I move on to the hereafter. Or not.
So I’ve just read a post on Reluctant Mom’s blog about How she would like to be buried.
Well, I’m a totally different story.
when I was a kid I heard these terrible stories about how people were buried alive. I had nightmares of coffins being exhumed and Monster style panic ridden claw marks found ingrained in the wood.
So when I die…
Don’t even think of burying me. My Claustrophobic self is already gagging at the thought.
More appropriately and considering my affinity with the Ancient Egyptians I would like to be placed – yes – please note PLACED in a pyramid. Forget all that embalming nonsense, of removing vital organs. If I am alive I am going to need them!! If there is anything that is going to be preserved, leave some mild dill gerkins and tinned fruit and veggies. Seeing as I may not be staying there long leave some Camenbert Cheese and crackers. Wine is good too. I’ll drink that after I’ve contacted you all and cr*pped all over your heads for “burying” me alive.
Before you think I’m going off at a tangent and haven’t thought this through, well honey’s I have. Instead of 6 foot under, make my pyramid 6 foot high. For exact measurements just down scale one of the Egyptian ones.
My brother pressured me for answers one night a little while back and I really do have this planned so my pyramid is designed to the nines.
When building my pyramid you will need to remember to have filtration systems so that I am able to breathe. In case of extreme heat be kind and install a fan. Yes this sucker would have to be electrical.
Self explanatory medical items to aid with my waiting period until I am exhumed will be most helpful.
Please build my pyramid near some feral kitties, seeing that cats are very intuitive they will let you know if there is any sign of life.
If you are unable to read Cat Language please ensure that there is a plug point and a working Blackberry and charger.
I’ll BBM you when I am awake.
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