Middle Grandchild Syndrome – Triggers Four

Its funny how when you’re feeling completely uninspired to write that someone else’s story triggers you enough to kick your butt into telling a bit more of my story.

If you’ve followed my posts you will know that I have worked through various difficult patches to come out to the point where I am now.

Which is… *smiles*

The place where what I do in my life is not because someone else told me to or because I am making someone else proud. I am doing what makes me happy, making myself proud of what I do and who I am.

I am the first to say that children learn by example so I have to live what I am hoping to teach them – right?

Any way, so what brought me to write about my past now – in this post? Well, these are the things that aided my decisions and made me who I am today. if telling people about my life encourages them to make their lives better my goal is being accomplished.

So I read the MOMfession by Tracy Winslow (Momaical Mom) on Mummy Mishy’s They call me mummy blog. and it made me want to tell you why I always felt second best, or should I say third best and one of the reasons I felt I needed to “people please”.

From when I was a little girl I always heard about how wonderful my cousin was. If it wasn’t that it was my young brother who was excelling. You know when they talk about middle child syndrome, well this is a large dose of middle grand child syndrome.

While my cousin and brother excelled in sports; I didn’t. My family held an intervention when I was 10 or 11 because I wasn’t athletic enough.

Now I think, so what! I was active, I rode my bike, I skipped, I swam, I played with the dog. I was never a couch potato and the mom in me now is screaming out because there was never a cause for concern! If I was my child I would have encouraged my real talents and the skipping, bike riding, dog playing. Yes, they aren’t olympic sports but being active and enjoying it is what mattered!

I mean honestly, I am artistic, I find comfort and extreme enjoyment from being creative. I LOVED to dance! Why not just encourage that?!

Ok, so the result of the intervention was my, oh so wonderful cousin trained me to run the school cross country. I literally ran my buns off and HATED every single step I took in those hideously uncomfortable short shorts.

I ran the race and improved drastically. I came in 14th and not my usual 109th. I won a trophy for the most improved runner.

Who was there to congratulate me?

Any of the family who had forced me to run the race? NOPE

I gave up after that.
I did try sports and eventually did get to dance which blew my mind with the pure freedom and beauty of it. But I never had the support team that my cousin and brother had. So it was all short lived.

It didn’t help that when my cousin got married my brother, the overseas cousin and new in laws cousins were included, but not me.

My cousin bonded with my brother going to sports matches, but not me.

She phoned me at work once, said we should meet for coffee because I was “grown up” now. But nothing materialised.

When My gramps died, everyone spoke about my wonderful cousin and how she was there when he passed. But nothing about me who was always there day in – day out; year in – year out.

I feel that although I tried for so long just to be noticed – I never really did. Not for being me.

Who am I – I am a person who is creative, I love anything that exhibits freedom of expression. I take pride in what I do, I take pride in knowing that I do right by my children. I praise them for their good points and I won’t push them to do things that they aren’t happy doing. Ok STOP THE BUS! I encourage them with school work and – YUCK! – who wants to do that?

But most of all, I am proud that I am living out my dream of helping animals! I am proud that I have the courage to tell my story, knowing that it may help someone else! I am strong! I am soft! I am beautiful. I am ME

If I could say one thing to Tracy this would be it.

Flowers for you Tracy and for me as we celebrate the people we are!

Flowers for you Tracy and for me as we celebrate the people we are!

What is important here is rising above what gets us down, holding our heads up high and being our unique selves. Because we are UNIQUE!

If you would like to read previous posts in my “triggers” series here they are:

Triggers 1

Triggers – Part 2

Triggers 3 – History Revisited

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About Di

Di believes that the most important and most fulfilling “job” she has is being a mom of two. She is an animal communicator. Her greatest passion is animals and their welfare. She enjoys writing about animals and topics to help others with their spiritual growth.

Posted on November 27, 2012, in Di's Articles, Family, Healing, Inspiration, Parenting, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Hi Di. Discovered you yesterday, but haven’t had much time to browse around your site.
    Just wanted to say that I HATED and LOATHED running cross-country at school, but more importantly, I hope you’re still dancing, somewhere… even if only in your head to escape the tedium of dishwashing or other mindless chores. And yay for standing up for animals, the world needs more of us.

  2. Great post Di

    Keep up the great work at being you and all you do!!

  3. Well, thank you! I, too am the happiest I have ever been. It took moving across the country and being free of the judgment to really find myself. At least we know not to repeat this history with our babies and honor them for who they are instead of who they aren’t.

    Tracy

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