Laugh – its funny…

Rules for Driving in SA

1. Never indicate – it gives away your next move

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, this space will be filled by at least 2 taxis and a BMW

3. The faster you drive thru a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will only result in you being rear-ended

5. Speed limits are arbitrary, given only as a guideline. They are especially NOT applicable in South Africa during rush hour. That’s why it’s called ‘rush hour….’

6. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. Never stop to help – you will be mugged

7.Learn to swerve abruptly. South Africa is the home of the high-speed slalom driver thanks to the government, placing holes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them on their toes

8. Hooting at taxi drivers is a must, whether they stop on the road or at the bus stop, same thing, they ruined your day!

9. When you see an ambulance, sirens on, followed by the towtrucks, gliding through traffic as everyone makes way, by all means get behind it and follow it as long as you can.

10. When pulled over for speeding or any other infringement, make sure your R100 note is visible enough to tempt the officer to maak ‘n plan!

FUNNY SHORT STORIES ON HOW CHILDREN SEE THINGS

First I would like to share a picture posted on my friends They call me mummy Facebook page. she is collecting some mortifying kiddies artwork, like this one…

From they call me mummy... I like to share the funny ;)

From they call me mummy… I like to share the funny 😉

and on to the funnies sent in by Gianna

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, “Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!

HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, “We better throw this one out too then, ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “It’s the minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother. Then she added, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at a camp site and found himself in the women’s bathroom. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

image from google images

image from google images

If you are in need of further laughter enjoy last weeks hilarious Waxing 101

Or the top rated joke in DDAS STATS

It was your rack that saved you

If you have a great funny you would like to see here on a Friday… Mail it to me on stuffdidoodles@gmail.com or post it in the comments. If you make me laugh, consider it posted! 🙂

Please do me a huge favour and comment on this post with your jokes, share this post from one of the links below, or simply give me a thumbs up and like this post or the Di Doodles Facebook Page, follow me on Twitter or Pinterest or add your email address above or check the box below and have up coming posts delivered to your email so you never miss a Friday Funny again.

AND THANK YOU for stopping by!!

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About Di

Di believes that the most important and most fulfilling “job” she has is being a mom of two. She is an animal communicator. Her greatest passion is animals and their welfare. She enjoys writing about animals and topics to help others with their spiritual growth.

Posted on February 15, 2013, in Funnies and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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