The neighbour – Bullying update part 2
Posted by Di
So our situation with bullying and school life dynamics wasn’t great in 2012. What made things abundantly worse is that we got a new neighbour. A neighbour from HELL.
*please excuse my changes in tense – I have tried to edit them – this situation has left me in such a state of disempowerment that my writing is seemingly suffering*
It was all peaceful and quiet and the “boinking” neighbours moved out. Yeah, they were obviously trying to make a baby and rather eagerly and loudly so. When your kid asks: “What are they doing downstairs mum?”
And the only thing that comes into your head is: “They’re hammering nails in the wall honey.”
“This early in the morning?”
I was rather happy to see the back of them. Little did I know that on Comrades day I would find out what an utter idiot I had for a NEW neighbour?
I was eager to meet a friend of mine along the running route so I sent My Boy out to walk Blu. Blu has a lovely way of “talking” when you play with him. Believe me, if you pretend bark he starts with this weird crying bark. It’s not quite a howl, and although it could sound like he is in pain, he isn’t. He can be running; excited because he noticed you grab his lead and this “noise” will escape his jaws, or nose. It could be nasal.
So anyway, My Boy goes to take Blu for a walk and Blu decides to encapsulate Fran Dresher. The moron from downstairs shouts “Leave that dog alone!” and then, the coward that he is gets in his car and high tails it out the complex. Once arrived at his cave he smsses hubby and proceeds to tell him how he will report us to the SPCA. He also adds in his moment of desperation, that “your wife rubs the dog’s nose in the carpet while you are at work.”
My husband, who doesn’t do confrontation, does the absolute minimal to improve our situation. I flip out! Honestly, who wouldn’t? I do not advocate animal cruelty; in fact I speak out about it! I volunteer and have contacts in various animal welfare organisations across South Africa and abusers in general tick me off!
This little midnight fighting, dope smoking, loud 6am Sunday morning – loud music playing little idiot, who when asked by my then 11 year old to turn his music down because it was 6am on a SUNDAY; turned it UP, IDIOT was complaining about me!
Since then he tried to run me off a straight road outside my kids school, I came out of that one unscathed, I am alert on the road and the pavement I climbed during my escape never even damaged my car.
One morning after that we heard shouting from downstairs. The arguing continued on and off throughout the day. Until it all came to a head in the afternoon when I arrived home from school with my kids. Shortly after the police arrived who I went out and spoke to and told them exactly what had been going on.
They inform me that the IDIOT is a repeat offender and I should report what I know and maybe get some protection for my children.
I therefore decided to take action. I wrote a letter to the complex owners explaining the situation, in the hope of a solution.
Later on – on the same day; I received a nasty call from the owner saying that I am just a stupid crazy bitch, who shouts at her kids, and the entire complex of idiots will side with him in getting my children removed from my care. The complex idiots…
- a back yard breeder;
- the one who keeps a large dog locked inside with hardly no exercise what so ever because he is too lazy to erect a wall, and would rather call educated people – uneducated when his unsocialised dog escapes and attempts to bite children playing at their own unit,
- And my all time favourite;
The one with the early teen daughter – who dresses like a whore – and has boy after boy visiting her bedroom through the upstairs window.
- Then there’s the know-it-all, the divorcee, and the one who only greets you when he wants something.
Wonderful people; role models; making excellent parenting and animal care decisions. Wal-Mart People.
This sends me plummeting into a depression. I slept more, I didn’t have the energy to deal with my sons demeaning HOD teacher, nor nagging KZN family who couldn’t have been less bothered about my dilemma.
And it only got worse.
One morning while my kids were at school there was a knock at the door. A kitten was found in one of the units and they know that I am involved with animal welfare. Can I assist? Sure, so off I go.
Word gets out that I have said kitten and lo and behold IDIOT himself comes knocking on the door. He wants to adopt said kitten.
I replied that said kitten would have to go through the process of attempting to find his owners. He could not be adopted out until a time period had passed.
He then proceeded to tell me how in his drugged up, drunken state one night, he ran over his one cat and he left it in his garage to die, because “God would heal it”, but it was not to be so he buried it in the garden. Oh and by the way his other cat “ran away”. I wonder why? ** I wouldn’t adopt out a pet flea to him let alone a kitten**
He then threatened me and said that the owners forwarded my email to his parents, the owners of his unit and I must not shout at my kids – he will have them removed from my care.
OK, so I shout at my kids. Sometimes when they push me to the brink of insanity, at a time when we are likely running late for school and they were asked to pack their bags the night before and they didn’t, and it was now morning and why hadn’t they done it??? Yes, a morning like this is best explained by Mummy Mishy
YOU SEE!!! I am not the only mum in the world who has momentary or should I say occasional banshee days… my moments of shouting are certainly not that bad that they equate to child abuse.
And NO I am not a bad mum I am entitled to an occasional nervous breakdown when my kids push my limits…
After friends of mine see me balling and red eyed, while fetching my kids at school; in the same teary state I ended up at the police who I explained everything to detail for detail. The Colonel was wonderfully sympathetic being a mom herself and said that she also shouted and if we as mothers didn’t discipline our children it would be to our children’s detriment.
And the saga continues…
The woman abuser threw an iron at his last victim in January…
At the moment – there are thankfully no women living with him or even visiting.
Next blog… my visit to the school psychologist and how things are progressing with her help.
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