A great simile – Cats are like teens
I found a piece on why teens and cats are alike on facebook and decided that it needed to be stepped up a bit. So here is my version of why cats are like teens:
Teenagers and cats are quite similar.
No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. They both have the look on their faces of “is that all?!” down to perfection. Even the food you serve is too little to compensate their hunger. But they’ll have some morsels pushed to the side on their plates, which “they never saw”.
Both cats and teenagers act as if their parents owe them something.
On the subject of facial expressions, they can both look at you as if their impending hunger was more likely STARVATION and if your house was filled with guests they would easily believe that you hadn’t fed said cat / teenager in days.
A cat that eats vegetables is rare. A teenager’s idea of a great meal is one that can be eaten with one hand while watching TV – i.e. it certainly won’t contain vegetables.
You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents. Unless they want food – of course, this is when they bombard, or stare at you forlornly instead of sCATter.
Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing. Until a tin of cat food is opened. The same can be said for teenagers. Ask a teenager to clean their room and your requests remain ignored. Call a teenager for food and it is only then that the “fairies” activate their hearing.
Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did – and as if they were eating enough to fulfil each one of those lives.
Cats and teenagers yawn and stretch in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy — a sense of complete and utter laziness. Unless of course food has been served – their spark returns to indulge the apparent all absorbing worm in their stomach.
Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone’s furniture. There is no need to elaborate – is there.
Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers who are at the age of night time roaming are capable of returning home smelling like the dead animal that the cat dragged in.
Cats more than often like to sing the song of their people AT NIGHT – their decibels of sound make it humanly impossible for parents to sleep. This is the time that teenagers get their volume control stuck on FULL. Whether it be the TV, radio or their mouths.
Cats can sleep all day wake for food and then proceed to sleep some more. Sunlight is used as a mechanism to keep warm while sleeping. Their only movement will be to follow the smallest ray of sun entering a room. Teenagers use the sun in a similar fashion, and just like cats the sun aids their laziness.
A cat’s obsession with a box mimics a teenager’s obsession for being left to sleep in their bedroom alone. Once a box or room is claimed – DO NOT attempt to enter the room or move the box. If you are another cat / sibling, unless you are in said cat / siblings good books, DO NOT attempt to co-occupy the space. Claws WILL come out.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times.
And remember, above all else, put out the food, provide a warm place in the sun to sleep and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. Don’t even allow your thoughts to wonder in their direction; felines and teens posses the gift of telepathy, and will react in a way that will defy your desired end result.
When they EVENTUALLY make up their minds, and come to you for some affection and comfort, it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned. These are the moments that we as parents realise that being a slave to cats / teenagers is often not as bad as it seems.
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