A positive outlook no matter what
Posted by Di
Why is it that even when I expect the least of people – because I know that – without fail – they – are – going – to – disappoint – me; I am still left gutted?
As much as I say to myself I am not going to let this get to me – Its water off a ducks back. I expected it so it is not going to hurt as much.
And then it hits.It’s a WHAMMY to the chest. Your heart chakra is left reeling.
I wish I could explain to my heart what my head already knows.
In 2012 I was left in a depression of note. I was dealing with my son being bullied and I had little to no support. The neighbour caused an endless list of repercussions, which I continued to deal with in 2013.
The defining moment – the moment I can officially say I was depressed was when the complex owner phoned me; telling me that I was only a crazy stupid bitch blah blah blah… the same idiot who somehow in his feeble excuse for compassion, thinks that he has helped my family. Helped us where – Is the question that I honestly cannot find legitimate answers for?
In 2013 I fought hard to get myself on the right track. In many ways I succeeded. In the slang fashion “I worked my butt off to get somewhere.” And I did. I promised myself that I would end the year without a tear; which I managed to accomplish. I managed this even though I received an unscrupulous message from my brother as a Christmas gift. I invited him for Christmas lunch / dinner, agreed to work around his schedule, and – well – that apparently wasn’t caring about him and his “demanding” career. Never mind that we had only seen him ONCE in 2012… I apologise for the rant; but as you can see – I am hurt.
My Boy finished the year on a positive note; being elected as the most improved, well behaved and helpful student in his class.
SO this year; I want to concentrate on the positives. I want to work on getting over those moments that leave me devastated. I want to look at situations in a constructive way; allow the proverbial water to run off the ducks back.
Why the hell should I be hurting because of someone else’s failures?
Being upset because my husband never wished me a happy birthday doesn’t serve my purpose. Being positive, concentrating on the things that make me happy. That way I can continue to be a good mother to my children. I can fight for the things that will benefit US – benefit ME.
How I’ll stop my heart from breaking? I don’t quite know that answer yet…
I have to move forward. Allow my spirituality, my happiness, my life in general to grow, and in so doing allow my children to learn from example and watch their lives flourish.
No more looking back.
Never mind one day; I’ll do it one step at a time and make each stride great.
Cheers to a positive outlook for the duration of 2014.
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