My daughter hit a bully and I am proud.
Posted by Di
Should you hit a bully?
When is it appropriate to hit a bully?
I feel that I have taught my children well enough to know that bullying is not the answer. Both are compassionate and sensitive children, who would rather lend a hand to someone in need.
This brings me to the reason for this article.
My daughter hit a bully and I am proud.
Before you judge put yourself in Fairy’s shoes.There was a bomb scare at her school and all the children were evacuated from their classrooms. They ended up sitting on a wet field for duration of what the children said was about 3 hours.
My daughter ended up with a brown bottomed dress.
A nasty child teased her that she had “pooh” on her dress.
It didn’t end on the day.
It continued for a week.
Within the week I wrote letters to the class teacher to move this child who happened to be sitting next to her in class. I explained that this child’s behaviour was in appropriate. I explained how Fairy had cried – yet neither he nor she was moved.
Now is the time to take your shoes off and imagine yourself in Fairy’s shoes.
Morph into your 10 year old self.
Imagine enduring a bomb scare at your school. Imagine the fire department, police and police dogs scouring your school for a long period of time. Imagine knowing scary details about this occurrence and imagine the fear you would have felt.
Now, imagine being teased by a child because your dress is dirty.
Imagine sitting next to the same child in class – who for a week teases you about mud on your dress. Your mum has written to the teacher hoping that she will at the very least move the child who is causing you so much hurt. Still he continues.
There is no escaping his tirades.
You walk out of school crying because the jabs are breaking down your psyche.
You forget to bring your homework books home – for the first time ever. Not once but 4 times in a row. So you get demerits, while the child who teases you is still sitting next to you in class.
You explode and punch him in the nose.
The teacher moves the child.
The teasing stops.
Sometimes the bully needs to learn the hard way. Sometimes he needs to be punched in the nose.
No I am not proposing that we should just start hitting everyone who upsets us.
I am saying that – yes we went through the channels. She blocked.
She asked for him to stop.
I asked for him to stop.
And then she hit him.
And he stopped.
I am pro a positive end result.
But some times, there comes a time when you need to make a statement that what the bully is doing is NOT OKAY.
Sometimes you need to stop allowing the bully to make you a victim.
The statement needs to be firm and clear, and needs to bring about a positive end result for the victim.
I learned through my son’s experiences – where I went by the book – I went though the school channels and felt as if I was fighting a losing battle.
I think when dealing with bullies you have to look at the grey areas and not just black and white scenarios.
I certainly don’t want to see my daughter experience the year in and year out of the pain and anguish that my son did. Nor do I want to raise a girl who thinks it is okay for abusive men to dominate her.
Now its your turn: Comment on this post with your opinion and ideas. Let’s talk about how you’ve taught your children to stop a bully in his tracks.
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