When your daughter doesn’t feel as loved as her sibling…
How would you feel if your daughter told you that she doesn’t feel as loved as her brother by your family?
I can tell you how I feel – I feel crap – if I had to elaborate on the shitty feeling I would describe it as the ploppy, watery diarrhoea, that hurts your butt, while your stomach is cramping; and you’re throwing up at the same time. I feel like a bad dose of gastro.
“Mom, when I was a baby – everyone adored me. But now you are the only one who does.”
“Mom, they don’t love me as much as Your Boy.”
“Mom, is it because he doesn’t love me that he is so nasty?”
“Mom, I don’t like it when my sister is upset.”
I am embarrassed to be a member of my family. I am embarrassed at their short sightedness, their inability to realise that their actions cause reactions. I am so completely ashamed that money, material items and stature seem to mean more to them than a good – old fashioned – heart to heart – bond.
It mortifies me that I don’t trust any of them. I look after myself because if God forbid anything happens to my husband and myself; my children don’t have anyone I can honestly trust – for them to rely on.
Last night I sat with my children and explained to them how we are all special. How we are all equally extraordinary. I said to them that even though we are different and have unique qualities that make us who we are; we are still remarkable and we are each deserving of love. We all spoke about what upset us and how it was better that we simply had each other.
The Fish always says we have each other and we don’t need our families. Which on many levels is so true.
We may be sensitive souls. But we need not apologise for our softness. It is through our responsiveness, that an inkling our greatness lies.
I don’t know if it’s my grans love for Hawaii; but I am always brought back to the quotes from the Disney Movie Lilo and Stitch:
Stitch: “This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good.”
Lilo: “Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”
So once again I’ll stick to my little family the one I found all on my own. We understand each other, love each other, we’ll help mend each other’s hearts and move forward. Compassionately – Lovingly – Empathically
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Posted on March 19, 2014, in Di's Articles, Family, Healing, Relationships and tagged compassion, family, healing, Kids, Lilo and Stitch, love, Ohana, relationships. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.