Who said being spiritual meant you could only embody love?
So this week I got into trouble for not being the perfect spiritual example. When I say I got into trouble I was told that I am a filthy disgusting person, on a path of destruction who hurts everything in her path, and this from someone who has life coaching on their price card.
Why I got into trouble is because well I have the occasional rant when I have got to the point when I have had quite enough of being nice. You know the saying, I’m a nice person, but I also have my limits. Well I reached my limit and I ranted, I RELEASED what I had bottled up, every time my kind requests were blatantly ignored.
Apparently as a spiritual person this is a BIG no-no. Apparently, if I am me; and I drop an f-bomb; have an occasional rant; listen to certain kinds of music that aren’t spiritually appropriate; oh and heaven forbid go through a bad patch in your life and feel emotions like anger, I have lost the ability of being spiritual and the stamp of approval of my colleagues. Yes apparently these things make you a disgusting person and heaven forbid your clients or family see you as HUMAN.
My word, “where is the LIGHT in you?”
Well let me tell you, a rant for me is a release. A little F-bomb occasionally, clears my throat chakra!
Say it with me…
There, feel better now? I do…
So now that you and I are both feeling better lets explore what a spiritual person actually is.
What is a spiritual person?
When we go on to spiritual pages or google what a spiritual person is we get the iconic image of the pristine and beautiful young yoga lady, thin and calm and perfectly balanced and totally healthy, fresh from her latest juice fast, meditating on the edge of an infinity pool — like nobody in history ever did, EVER.
To be fair, that perfect yoga lady isn’t always depicted meditating on the edge of an infinity pool; sometimes she’s depicted sitting on a bolder at the top of a mountain, and sometimes she’s sitting on a beach at sunset…but she is always shown in a state of graceful meditation, and she’s always thin and lovely, and you know she has a super hot vegetarian boyfriend, and her back doesn’t hurt, and she has never taken anti-depressants or farted.
I don’t recognize that person. By which I mean — I’ve never met her.
Because that person in that picture doesn’t exist. She is an icon — a holy relic, painted by our imaginations. She is the spiritual persons Holy Mother Mary if you’d like somewhat of a parallel. I am by no means saying that Holy Mother Mary was not real nor didn’t exist, if you read your Bible she was a real human being with failings and desires and suffering and hope, just like that lady at the lotus pool. I mean that the picture of perfection we have in our minds is not real.
The spiritual icon in this picture has never had too much wine. She’s never dropped an f-bomb at the wrong moment. She’s never said something regretful. She’s never lost her temper. She’s never acted like a total asshole. She’s never been over-sensitive to criticism. She’s never woken up ashamed at herself. She’s never judged anyone, she’s never attacked herself, she’s never cried in the middle of the night for no reason, she’s never failed horribly, and she’s never let herself down. She’s never eaten a salad and washed it down with a sugary Coke (I have!). And she’s damn sure never tried to sing “It’s raining men” at karaoke and realized halfway through the song that she actually can’t sing ” It’s raining men ” — but then decided to keep singing it anyway, EVEN LOUDER.
Yet this lady at the edge of the infinity pool is what we think of, I guess, when we think of “a spiritual person.”
But that’s not what I believe a spiritual person is. I believe a spiritual person is somebody who is aware of a larger divinity in the universe (a source of power that operates behind and beyond all that we can see) and who wants to get as close to that divine source as possible.
I believe that what ever life throws at you, and for me this year has been downright shitty, you as a spiritual person come out stronger, I believe you come out on the other side with a lesson. A beautiful lotus flower only emerges after forcing its way through swampy thick mud. Not everyone sees the lesson immediately, sometimes the lesson takes months or years to realise.
For me being and living your authentic self/life is being spiritual.
So I pursue — as much as I can — the experiences that will bring me those spiritual sensations. If ranting is a RELEASE for me – by daminit, I’m going to do it! You need to do for YOU what is BEST FOR YOU! If no one understands that well, maybe they should relook the, term called acceptance. The fact that NAMASTE – we are all one in our DIFFERENT JOURNEYS TOWARDS SPIRITUAL TRUTH.
For me, spiritual sensations are those moments when the walls between the mundane and the divine get very thin — or sometimes vanish altogether — and I can feel in my bones a sensation of divinity and eternity.
For the most part, I have not been able to find those sensations while sitting on the edge of an infinity pool in lotus pose — but if you can find it there, awesome!
I have, however, sometimes felt sensations of spiritual transcendence while laughing with my kids about the dog farting, or feeling happy when a bad guy gets what’s coming to him in an action thriller, or reconnecting with an old friend. I have felt it at the farmers market when the grumpy old woman smiled and spoke to me after months of scowling at everyone that crossed her path.
I have felt it when I was driving.
I have felt it in churches and temples that I do not belong to (I feel the longing for divinity, I mean, and it touches me) — but I have also felt it while doing daily chores with my grandmother while we spoke about things like me possibly marrying a gay man because he was a good person and at that stage of my life I really didn’t want kids!
I have felt it when I’m writing — and when I’m ranting!
I have felt it when I see a friend being brave.
I have felt it when that freaking Bon Jovi song from 19 voetsek comes on the radio, and all of the sudden time folds in half, and the universe bends around me, and my 40-year-old self is able to reach out and touch my teenage self by the hand, and for a moment these two selves look at each other and burst into joyful laughter, and we say to each other, “How did we get here?! Who ARE we?!”
I can feel it in Metallica, ACDC, Elvis and Helmut Lotti because music lifts my spirits!
I have felt it on Facebook, when I watch people come together because they were abused, survived and relate to each other by their experiences.
I have felt it when I collapse helplessly ugly crying, full of shame and fear, and my daughter says, “I love you mommy.”
I try to feel it as much as I can, because my job as a spiritual person is simply to look for divinity everywhere. That’s what it means to me. Even when I am experiencing the worst time of my life, my spirituality is still there.
“Spiritual” is not how you talk, or what you eat, or what sort of yoga you practice, or what sort of music you listen to, or how much you weigh, or whether you drink coffee or green tea.
“Spiritual” is believing in the innate divinity or every moment — and believing in the innate divinity of every moment is not something you can do WRONG. All you have to do is step off the edge of the infinity pool, and dive into the REAL infinity pool…which is all around us, sometimes within reach, sometimes out of reach.
I think sometimes people get frustrated with the term “spiritual” because they think it’s too wishy-washy. They think you’re lazy. They think you’re undisciplined. They think you’re unfaithful. They think you’re trying to get away with something — that you are trying to believe in God without following any rules. (Whose rules, though?) People think you’re cheating. People are always looking to catch you not being spiritual enough, or not appearing spiritual in the right ways.
Being spiritual is not easy, its messy, but its also poetic like wild horses running free into the sunset.
Don’t worry about it.
They don’t know.
They don’t know that there’s nothing lazy whatsoever about this path.
They don’t know that what you’re looking for is nothing less than EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE and ALWAYS.
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